So I really haven't posted in here in forever. I guess I may as well say a few things about why.
I still love Ar Tonelico. Very much. I'm eagerly anticipating the third instalment in the series. But I guess, maybe, I haven't had anything new to say about it for a while. The more I see of AT2's Luca, the more I realise she is not my Luca, not the Luca I inexplicably became attached to in the first few hours of the game, before the scene in the prison. At some very early point in the game, my brain decided that Luca was a certain type of person, and it wouldn't let go. The cognitive dissonance hurt, but I've learnt to accept that the Luca I know and the game's Luca just aren't the same individual, or even really related. And so, though I'm curious about Luca's path in AT2, I know I'm never going to get attached to the person that path explores. The Luca-shaped hole in my heart, to paraphrase a Christian saying, has been filled by another.
I'm still annoyed by the far too frequent, far too glib use of the word "human" in NISA games in the company of, and even directly describing, non-human sentient species. I'm still annoyed by Croix and how he'll brush off Luca's descriptions of magic and intensity with "I don't get it..." yet still think he's suitable for a 400-year-old cranky Beta who's spent most of her life as formless data, who can destroy walls with a flick of her finger, who lives and breathes and feels magic more than she feels the physical world. I'm still annoyed that the game puts them together, too, and prefer to believe that Croix's own strong feelings for Jakuri warped a Cosmosphere in which she only wished to tell someone the story of what Harmonious meant to her.
I'm branching out a little, too. I'm playing Atelier Iris 3, and so far it's very enjoyable-- I'm loving the quest-centric format, and the way it provides challenges that aren't wholly combat-based. I'm really wanting Cross Edge, but I don't want to buy a PS3. I'm considering it's probably inevitable if AT3 happens to be on it.
I still think up ideas for short stories, flashes of imagery. I consider writing fanfics about what would happen if Jakuri killed Croix, or about the surges of unexpected, uncontrolled emotion that come with harmonising, how a calm and peaceful mood can be ramped up to bright and brilliant surges of feeling in a matter of moments. I still imagine the sparks going off behind the eyes of someone so entranced. I still imagine. I still live.
Mir is still my favourite canonical Reyvateil, and probably always will be. I still love her story, and I hope it gets the conclusion it deserves. I'll be cheering for that as hard as anyone, if not moreso.
I believe that monsters are small lives, that time is eternal, that hopes and dreams and fantasies are worth pursuing for as long as your heart still beats, and beyond. I believe in living like a Narnian, even if Narnia doesn't exist. I believe in many things, and I like believing. If you think you're too old to believe, or I'm too old to believe, I believe you should probably wake yourself up before you die completely inside.
My life is full of believers, and I like that.
I haven't been writing. And I haven't been reading, really, all of your blogs. I forget, when I'm not logged in here. But I have been living, and dreaming, and thinking of you all.
I pray that you all keep living and dreaming too.
Letra - Eldharia ~Inori Saku Mori~
2 months ago
13 comments:
I dream very frequently, so you can be assured of that. ^_^ Not all of them make sense, and among those that do, there are inspiring little observations mixed in with ones that seem uncharacteristic depressing or aggressive for me, but but... Inspiring little observations!
Observations like "warped time" being a managed subset of time; people being too busy to truly appreciate spending time in a bathroom that glows like street lamps through the morning mist in an open plaza; the confusion that would result from not being aware of anything after being killed, then respawning slightly out of sync with others who fell with you; and the acknowledgement that you can be flying and falling at the same time, if only you would notice the former at least as much as the latter.
Really, there's a lot of thought-provoking detail to be discovered in dreams. I like to think that they are important enough to contemplate during waking hours. Why would you want to ignore anything interesting that you thought of? If it crossed your mind saliently enough to be recognised as more than pure noise, then some part of you finds it interesting. You might wish to get to know that part better; I can say that I'm very pleased with having done so. ^_^
I'm still annoyed by the far too frequent, far too glib use of the word "human" in NISA games in the company of, and even directly describing, non-human sentient species.
I've thought about that, too. In any story where the predominant species is not explicitly named, it is simply assumed that they are human. Why would they have to be human? Why would any other race not be just as suited, if not more so, to living in the environment presented by that story?
I think part of the "human" trend comes from the Asian use of the word "person" to refer to one who is neither "beast", "god", "ghost", nor "monster". It doesn't have to be the name of a specific species like "human". We need a simple, common word that implies the same kind of mortal context without also implying that all non-human races are unimportant.
how a calm and peaceful mood can be ramped up to bright and brilliant surges of feeling in a matter of moments.
Yes... Emotions are really amazing. They can flow from one extreme to another at a moment's notice with little provocation. I wonder if people feel silly about suddenly feeling cheerful or excited or anxious or saddened. I like to indulge in whatever I happen to be feeling, even if it's for no apparent reason. Ignore too may things that I seem to be feeling for no reason, and I'd be left with boredom or depression or other states that seem to drag on forever, simply because there's nothing left that can be deemed acceptable.
Ignore too may things that I seem to be feeling for no reason, and I'd be left with boredom or depression or other states that seem to drag on forever, simply because there's nothing left that can be deemed acceptable.
I think this is a very good point. If you don't allow yourself joy or wonder or hope or excitement, if you have to damp down every positive emotion because it's too much or too soon or too extreme, what do you have left but apathy and depression? I guess there are some people who'd argue that the world should be viewed as a depressing place, yet it's been proven that depression is a condition caused by a non-optimal balance in brain chemicals. It's not a healthy thing. Why not just be happy? Is it really so awful to feel joy?
ahh...i thought you forgot about your blog...although i wished i could say a lot of stuff i dun think my mind is right at the moment...although i'm glad that you are doing well...i've been out of touch from both of you for so long till i feel deprived of that dream-like state=p
although ayulsa, i'm glad that you're still alive. i thought your hectic would have maybe took its toll on you or something for the times that i didn't see you.
I'm still annoyed by the far too frequent, far too glib use of the word "human" in NISA games in the company of, and even directly describing, non-human sentient species.
In Mana Khemia, a catgirl describes an alien pink lump in a flying pod by saying "We don't even know if he's human!" It was clearly a mistranslation, but it was absolutely bizarre. Though I still think Mir calling Cloche "only human" really takes the cake, and I still want to write a fic where Cloche feels deeply wounded and goes off and cries into her pillow.
Your fanfic ideas are things I really, really want to see. Especially the harmonising fic, but I would be very curious about Jakuri following through on what she warned about, too.
the confusion that would result from not being aware of anything after being killed, then respawning slightly out of sync with others who fell with you
I always think about how it'd be confusing if you respawned at a different point from where you fell, but I think that would actually feel very similar to the recent episode where I abruptly woke up on the floor of the hall outside my apartment and the last thing I remembered was walking across the parking lot. Maybe I was attacked by a one-hit-kill, and the threshold of my apartment is my respawn point?
I guess there are some people who'd argue that the world should be viewed as a depressing place, yet it's been proven that depression is a condition caused by a non-optimal balance in brain chemicals. It's not a healthy thing. Why not just be happy?
Some people seem to want to define "healthy" as "as absolutely average and normal as possible". I don't even mean the Japanese tendency to think that weird == bad. I mean rather the tendency of some people in what I will have to vaguely term English-speaking-society to criticise the idea of being too fascinated with something, regardless of how harmless it is. Some people genuinely seem to prioritise the "healthiness" of being not too fascinated with any given thing over the "healthiness" of being actually happy.
I suppose these people may have a subconscious process of reasoning that goes such: "Society is the collective wisdom of all these other people [who are obviously wiser than me, since I am just me], and for some reason or other society has decided that this is bad, and since I can't find any ulterior motive to claim that this is bad, I will assume that someone wiser than I has found a reason, and I will therefore subscribe to it." This makes it easy to decide what is healthy without having to actually engage their brains.
It can also be passed off glibly with a remark about "balance", which doesn't hold much water against the argument that being depressed is unbalanced, but serves as a good enough label for people who dimly realise that "because society said so" doesn't sound like a good reason and yet don't want to actually rethink things.
Also, sorry for the doublepost, but: IIRC Orson Scott Card made up a word for "person of the sort that you can relate to", something probably along the lines of the word we wish we had, but I can't remember it right now.
Some people genuinely seem to prioritise the "healthiness" of being not too fascinated with any given thing over the "healthiness" of being actually happy.
That's a very succinct way to put it, yes. I think if you pressed them about it, they'd probably say something like, "well, happiness that you derive from an obsession isn't real happiness"-- but then what is "real happiness"? Happiness is an emotional state produced by interaction with your environment. There aren't interactions that produce "fake" happiness and interactions that produce "real" happiness, unless you're going to count drugs (and even then, the happiness experienced is as real as any other happiness, it just doesn't have a logically following cause other than the chemical).
I think the problem is that these people (or at least the ones who aren't just being sheeple about it and have actually thought about it somewhat) want to believe that there are certain kinds of happiness that are genuine and certain kinds that are fake, because that means that there's a reason to live a normal mundane life. Otherwise, they think, you may as well just drop out of society and take drugs all day. Which kind of shows how little they actually think of the mundane life, if this fabrication that it's "more real than anything else" is all that's holding them to it. It's like people who say you couldn't have morals without the Bible-- you have to wonder how moral they would be if the Bible were taken away from them, if they sincerely believe that a society without a holy book would turn to violent anarchy in an instant.
o_O Wow! Long time no see! Real long time.
I don't really have anything worthy of contributing. Just wanted to say "hi" lol
Oh wait, maybe I do. In Cross Edge, you can "reform" (kinda/sorta) villains into allies. Maybe it's more like just recruiting, but I think that might be of interest to you.
(Also, sorry for the doublepost as well, but I'd really like to know that word. Are any other of your friends OSC readers?)
Thunder-- that is of interest to me, yes. Reminds me a lot of Suikoden. It's pretty rare to see that in games.
I really do want to play it, but I don't want to buy a PS3 just for that game. If AT3 comes out on the PS3, though, or maybe even a new Atelier game, or something....
Atelier Rorona is out on it now, if you want to try your hand at the Japanese version. But, note that it's nothing like the Iris games. It's a core Atelier game.
Half the games I have for it aren't in English.
Eternal Sonata has an odd plot too. Living in a dream world vs the real world.
But yeah, I understand. It's still a pricey system.
Anyway, it's good to see you're still around ^_^
Is Rorona getting a US release? (So behind on these things....)
In Mana Khemia, a catgirl describes an alien pink lump in a flying pod by saying "We don't even know if he's human!"
D: That's awful. Of course it isn't human! It's like saying... The fact of an entity not being human will outweigh everything else that can possibly come from it, no matter how deeply meaningful, significant, or helpful it turns out to be in spite of not being human.
Though I still think Mir calling Cloche "only human" really takes the cake, and I still want to write a fic where Cloche feels deeply wounded and goes off and cries into her pillow.
I was so bothered by that, too... Mir, being one who understands what it means to be a Reyvateil to a greater extent than practically anyone else--I would go as far as to call her the definitive Reyvateil--if she were to say that another Reyvateil was "only human", that'd be a profound insult to that Reyvateil's sense of self. It'd be even worse if she helped you appreciate what it meant to be a Reyvateil beyond simply being one. Is all of that encouragement, all of those inspiring discoveries, all of those dreams and small miracles, to be taken back in an instant? Every moment of peace, every shared song, every tear that had been shed for the joy of finally understanding? A profoundly hurtful insult...
I think that would actually feel very similar to the recent episode where I abruptly woke up on the floor of the hall outside my apartment and the last thing I remembered was walking across the parking lot. Maybe I was attacked by a one-hit-kill, and the threshold of my apartment is my respawn point?
How surreal, to imagine that we have respawn points in that world... I guess people respawn off-world in most instances, then, which might be why they appear to have died permanently? That's encouraging. ^_^ Ar ciel~
I don't even mean the Japanese tendency to think that weird == bad.
Do they have such a tendency? I wouldn't have known it from their televised productions...
Some people genuinely seem to prioritise the "healthiness" of being not too fascinated with any given thing over the "healthiness" of being actually happy.
I wonder if it's too much fascination over any given thing that concerns them... The mainstream seems to have little issue with having too much of a fascination over material wealth. Maybe it's more a case of society being opposed to people who are fascinated with something other than an item present on their explicit whitelist of acceptable goals. Also, goals. Mainstream society seems to prize things that can be expressed as concrete goals on a schedule (i.e. "I want to have a 7-figure salary and retire early") than things that are better expressed as open-ended desires (i.e. "I wish to feel the melodies of my dreams in the waking world"). It ties into the mainsteam fascination with time management.
I suppose these people may have a subconscious process of reasoning that goes such: "Society is the collective wisdom of all these other people [who are obviously wiser than me, since I am just me], and for some reason or other society has decided that this is bad, and since I can't find any ulterior motive to claim that this is bad, I will assume that someone wiser than I has found a reason, and I will therefore subscribe to it." This makes it easy to decide what is healthy without having to actually engage their brains.
I guess that's how conventional wisdom comes to be... It's kind of depressing to think of it like that. Chosen in such a way, conventional wisdom is whatever takes the least effort to accept and defend; it isn't really indicative of what you think, but only what would be easy for you to throw out in an argument to make you appear to be standing on a solid foundation.
I don't think it's certain that Rorona will be translated, but NISA did hint at it.
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