Friday 6 November 2009

The Romance of Explosions -- Mana Khemia fanfiction (892 words, Roxis/Vayne, innuendo)

I have way too much fun inventing recipes for this world. Just for the record, any of the original recipes in any of my fics are free for anyone to use in their own writing; letting people know where you got the idea is nice, but use them as you see fit.

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Vayne cast his gaze over the selection of ingredients, pressing a finger to his lips and humming in thought. "So... I'm guessing we should probably start with Clearwater, maybe?"

"That sounds about right," said Roxis, retrieving one of the pre-distilled jars from the shelf and handing it to Vayne, who began uncorking the top. "We probably want it to be clear, after all, and it certainly needs to be wet."

Vayne nodded, and took another look over what was available as he finished adding the water to the cauldron. "We can use this jar to store it in, too, since I guess we'll need something. For the base, maybe.... Oh!" His fingers closed around a green-tinted vial, small rubbery mounds dimly visible through the glass.

Roxis mused. "Puni Gummies? ...Hm, of course. Though I'm not sure how sanguine I am about anything that's been in a Puni being used that way."

Vayne laughed a little. "Well, if you're willing to eat these.... And besides, they've already been boiled once and I'm going to boil them again, so it's not like there'll be any risk...."

"For the record, I've never actually eaten a Puni Gummi. Nor would I. They always looked kind of unpleasant." Roxis smiled, stepping back from the cauldron and taking a seat against the wall, confident that Vayne would not merely be content but actively eager to take care of the hard work by himself. "But you're the Mana. I'm sure you know what you're doing."

"I'm not sure I can think of anything else that will work," conceded Vayne. The jellied lumps bubbled and popped as the now-boiling water consumed them, the liquid temporarily staining with the various hues that seeped from them before returning to a clear, if slightly shimmery, state. "Though if you don't like the flavour, maybe we should add another ingredient. What flavours do you like?"

"It's not so much the flavour but the consistency," said Roxis. "Though I guess in this case it can't be helped." He mulled Vayne's question over for a moment. "As for what we should flavour it with, well... I don't doubt you'll be tasting it more than I, but if it's my choice, I am rather partial to cheesecake."

Vayne glanced dubiously over at the tinned cheesecake they'd prepared earlier that week, then back to the gelatinous mixture in the cauldron. "Adding cheesecake to this.... I think it might spoil. --But I could distill the vapours, most likely." He fetched the cheesecake and took a slice, placing it in a separate apparatus and sparking the flame beneath it. "So it'll be like.... Cheesecake essence. I bet this would be nice for flavouring things in general...."

"Haha, that's a grand idea. I wouldn't object to more cheesecake-flavoured things around here." Roxis pulled out a notebook and began recording the details. "So, Clearwater, Puni Gummies, and Cheesecake essence. --oh, wait." His face fell. "She says that's not everything."

Vayne scratched the back of one ear. "Ahaha.... Oh dear. This can't be good, can it."

Roxis grimaced. "...She says we need to use Plosion powder, too."

"Plosion powder?" Vayne yelped. "Th-that's not going to be safe!"

"Well, technically it's inert by itself, so it won't actually explode. Or at least I would trust not." The human alchemist cast a withering look to the empty air beside him, its target nowhere to be seen.

Vayne brought down a tin of the substance and, opening it, rubbed a few of the fine grains between his fingers. "You're right, this doesn't ignite on its own... yah!" He fumbled and almost dropped the container. "I-it sure does tingle a bit, though."

"Yes, exactly," said Roxis. "But we don't really have a choice." He muttered something under his breath.

"Huh? Sorry, I didn't hear what you said...."

"...I said, I'll be in trouble if I don't do what she says. Just put it in," said Roxis, with an expression that almost made Vayne wish him cat ears so he could properly convey his displeasure by flattening them back against his head.

"Okay." Vayne looked at the powder with trepidation. "How much?"

"As little as we can get away with." With a sigh, Roxis jotted down Plosion powder in the notebook, dotting the i hard enough to smudge. "So. What are we going to call this, exactly?"

"Ahah, you're asking me?" Vayne stared into the cauldron thoughtfully, scooping up some of the mixture with a ladle and pouring it off into a bowl. He swirled the still-hot liquid around a little, examining the texture. "What about--"

"--nothing with Puni in the name, please."

"Mm, I was going to say something like.... Slippery Liquid, I guess. I mean, that's what it is."

"Hmm." Roxis rubbed at his temples. "I suppose it's technically true, but it's not very inspiring. Something more poetic, maybe."

"Poetic...." Vayne's ears drooped a little. "I'm not that good at poetry.... Oh! Wait, what about.... Well, it's kind of for a romantic use, right? And it's not really explosive, but it's made with stuff that could explode, so... what about Romance of Explosions, or something like that?"

"I suppose that will do. ...Yes, I rather like that, actually." Roxis noted it down on the top of the sheet, then turned his gaze back to the space beside him. "...and just what are you snickering at now?"




---

...so, the property called "Romance of Explosions" in the Japanese Mana Khemia is called "Orgasmic" in the English translation. Just so you know.

Also, if you thought I was going to pull a bait-and-switch and make this something innocent at the end... nah, that's been done too many times. XD

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